The conscience is a wonderful thing

Last night as I was walking from work to the train station I needed to pee really badly. I never go at the train stations as they are usually pretty gross! But as I was about to leave the bathroom I noticed someone’s (expensive) cell phone laying on the paper towel holder.

Now I am NOT the kind of person who could steal something. I know that I had 2 choices here. To hand it into the station office OR to call a number in the phone book labelled “home”, “mum”, “dad” or “work”, or something similar. Here’s my dilemma… I never have any credit on my cell. So to make the call I would have had to call from the landline at home. A home which is a good hour and a half away from the station I was at.

I was going to go with this choice as I knew that I would try my hardest to get the phone back to the rightful owner. However the minute I put the phone into my back – full of good intentions – my conscience whacked me in the gut. It felt like stealing. It looked like stealing. I felt GUILTY of stealing.

So I did the next best thing and handed it into the station office. I felt bad as I doubt QR will actually do much about it.. but I felt worse taking it home. (and reading this it sounds selfish. I can’t win huh?)

So karma got back at me, and this was what happened afterwards:

1 – My train got changed from an express train to the end of the line (which is my stop.. yes I live in the middle of nowhere!) to an all stations train which only went about 3/4s of the way.

2 – I get off at Central and the lovely loud speaker lady informs us – constantly – that there is a “fault” in the systems and all trains are cancelled. (Joy!)

3 – The underground platforms experience overcrowding and I nearly faint because of the heat

4 – I get pushed and shoved while waiting for the trains to resume and bite my dam lip, get elbowed in the rips and nearly get my backpack ripped of me because “it was taking up to much room”

5 – Did I mention the Nausea? No? well for all of you who have had the joy of visiting Central Brisbane station you will know that there is a McDonalds right above the platforms. (next level) Usually McDonalds doesn’t bother me, but this one is always so dam greasy! So I was trying very very hard not to puke on about 10 different people

6 – When they finally get going.. a LOT later, there is now of course overcrowding on the train. Luckily I was right by the doors so I got a seat, but not without a lot of pushing and shoving going around first! The trains have 2 rows of specialty seats designed for the elderly, disabled, pregnant or people with babies. Yeah people don’t believe that I am pregnant! So I have no chance in hell of getting one of those seats. Not because they are taken up by the proper people.. because they are taken up by snobby losers who want the best seats in the house train.

7 – When I get back to my car (finally!) I have a terrifying moment of turning the key, and nothing happening. I get the GRRgrrGRRgrrGRRgrrrr of the car trying to start.. but nothing. Luckily it eventually started!

I get home and I feel like shit. So shitty I can’t even eat tea! (actually I don’t think I have eaten a evening meal all week) So I go to bed at 8pm, and wake up this morning exhausted… Again.

So yesterday was a great day. I hope today’s better!

Progression!

I am so excited! Last night we went to the doctors and got a referral to the hospital, and also for our first scan! I can't wait until I have this as then we will be able to tell the word our news.

 

I have a stupid fear of something going wrong. Even though this wasn't planned, and is going to make us a bit financially unstable for a while, I already love the little bean. I fell incredibly lucky to be fortunate enough to easily conceive a child, and for some reason it all feels to easy. Morning sickness is a drag, however I am not puking my guts up. I am tired, but that's all.

 

So I fear that to counteract the easiness something is going to go wrong. And seeing the baby on ultrasound will be the first major hurdle to prove my theory right or wrong. So I am slightly freaking out. But telling friends and family will be a great reward if everything does go right.

 

I can't wait to see reactions and be able to talk freely to people I know who have had children. I HATE keeping secrets, and this one is huge!

 

10 Weeks

I have a feeling my pregnancy is going to be a trial.

 

I started off bragging that I didn't get morning sickness. I was even giving out tips and hints on youtube! So of course this had to come and bite me in the bum.

 

I now get morning sickness every morning, and it's right after I get up. Which means empty stomach! Probably TMI.. but I am gagging and trying to throw up, but there is nothing in my stomach. I literally need to drink a large glass of water just so I have something to bring back up. Not the nicest feeling!

 

I also jinxed it the other morning.. Peter rang me and asked how I was feeling that day (he hates that I am sick all the time!) and I was feeling great! I wasn't sick so I told him that. About 20 mins into the train journey I needed to throw up! Luckily I was pulling into a station and managed to get up and over the platforms to the bathrooms.

 

I am also having cravings, but I don't know if this is lazy me wanting foods I love.. or if Its my body telling me to eat certain foods. I always want KFC's potato and gravy. Actually anything with potatoes sound really good to be at the moment. My favourites are mashed, or a baked potato with Bacon and mushroom filling.

 

Something else I am getting into is water temperatures. I either want my water freezing cold (super easy at work) or hot. No flavours.. just the temperatures. Its weird!

 

Sleeping is not great, and I need to get up at least once every night to pee. Last night I got up at 1am, and for some reason I didn't get back to sleep to after 3am. Its horrible because I am so tired all the time!

 

Usually the morning sickness isn't too bad. It is bearable, and usually gone by lunchtime. Today has been bad! I have thrown up more times than I can count, and because of this I have not managed to keep anything in my stomach. It's hard working in front of a computer which is making it worse.

 

On days like this I really worry. Throughout the pregnancy so far I have lost between 3 – 5 kg (depending on when I weigh) I know I should be gaining weight, but when I am puking everything up I just don't want to eat. My meals are now tiny because my stomach can't handle big dishes. So I worry about the weight loss!

 

Its only another 2 weeks until I have my 12 week scan, so I am really looking forward to that! I go to the doctors tomorrow night for the referral to the hospital, and to have a check up.

 

I guess things are so up and down right now. It will be good when things settle a bit. Namely my tummy!